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Plastic boats at Sunderland Marina, photographed by Rob Bishop, and taken from Wikipedia Commons No, I don’t have anything against Sunderland or Sunderland Marina in particular
I greatly appreciate traditional boats but perhaps even more I admire the brave and determined souls who use and maintain them even more. Many of them maintain important relics of history, and there’s no doubt that they lend huge character to many of our sailing areas. Where would the Broads be without its elderly sailing and motor cruisers, and wherries? What would the East Coast be without its smacks, bawleys and barges? Falmouth without its oyster fishery?
Nevertheless I sail a small plastic boat. Why? Because I kind-of have to – with my family commitments and not especially generous earnings, if I owned a wooden boat I’d struggle to maintain it myself and would not be able to afford the bills that come the way of friends who own such craft. And I’d go sailing less often than I do, and that can’t be allowed to happen. And I suppose one can say that the deck of a plastic boat makes a good vantage point for looking at real boats…
So plastic boats have their uses, and thank heavens for them – heck, if you want a measure of how morally corrupt I am, perhaps I should mention that I’m currently in the market for Laser for my kids. It’s not quite what I would choose, but it’s what they want and no doubt I’ll end up using it too…
But I can’t help sympathising with the author of this entertaining and generally accurate little ditty, whoever they are. My thanks to Bob Telford for passing it on!
Why isn’t it quite accurate? First, it doesn’t mention the important fact that most modern sailing yachts seem to spend their time motoring, not sailing. Second, I do wonder whose kids read Ransome these days? Certainly not mine…
Little Bathtubs (to the tune of Pete Seeger’s hit Little Boxes, which was in fact written by Malvina Reynolds)
Little bathtubs in marinas, little bathtubs made of ticky-tacky,
Little bathtubs at the quayside and the owner in the bar,
There’s a white one and a white one and a white one and a white one,
And they’re all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.
And they all have roller-reefing and self tailing winches,
Arid they all put a little reef in in anything above a two,
There’s a Jeanneau and a Beneteau and a Moody and a Westerly,
Aud they’re all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.
And they all have weatherfaxes and global positioning,
And a radar and a little screen that helps you to plot,
There are are gadgets and gizmos which show where the wind blows,
And the skipper is just a passenger ’cause the Autohelm does the lot!
And the owners are all builders or accountants or solicitors,
And they all drive down from Loughton on a Friday afternoon,
And they slip into their blazers and their Henri Lloyd moccasins,
For an evening at the yachty-clubby and they all look just the same.
And the owners all have wifeys who hate to go sailing,
Except around the Greek Islands where they get a good suntan,
And they all sit in marinas and drink up their G&Ts,
And they all come out of Billericay and they all look just the same.
And they all have little children who love to go sailing,
But they’re all sent away to boarding school where they never get the chance,
So they read their Arthur Ransome and dream of great voyaging,
In a pretty little wooden cutter, off to Holland or to France.
Little Bathtubs in marinas, little bathtubs on a swinging mooring,
Little bathtubs at the quayside and the owner in the pub,
There’s a Jeanneau and a Beneteau and a Moody and a Westerly,
And they’re all made out of ticky-tacky and they all look just the same.
